Layers of Leadership - from the archives

My new friend Anthony Coppedge read a post of mine (“Day Camp“) regarding whether it’s ministry or childcare and asked me to write a follow-up post here on his blog as a guest author. I am excited that Anthony’s saw my passion for developing leaders and volunteers and gave me a chance to speak to you, his friends in ministry.

Day camp for my staff is a fun summer of getting paid to play and minister to children. Often times resulting in children being saved and whole families coming to Christ as a result. I have come to the conclusion that day camp is an opportunity to build a ministry of leadership, outreach, mentoring, spiritual growth and development. I was recently asked how I came to that conclusion, which I love to have the opportunity to explain.

One thing I have learned from this program is how to begin to build leaders. In Children's Ministry, Pastoral Leadership, or business management we need people who understand, value, and own our cause or vision and can continue to make it happen. Let's face it leaders, you won't be sitting in that chair forever, and if you truly believe in what you are doing, your ministry should thrive even after your exit.

 If ministry leadership was simply a matter of having tasks completed and lining up people to do them, it would be easy. But a volunteer who sees that at the end of the day, every moment with this child can shape their spiritual growth, will make every moment count. So where are these people located? I need to order more please! Well, they aren't ordered, or even found, they're built. (for the lack of a better word)

Why is something as simple as a 10 week summer program seen as an opportunity to build these leaders?  Our counselors are usually college age students that have a desire to have a future in ministry. These counselors were at one time (most often) campers. I believe every moment is a moment to teach. For example, a camper has several opportunities to learn while in camp and even do service projects. Once in high school they can return as a CIT (counselor in training) where they learn how to teach the stories, lead the music and games, and run things alongside an established mentoring counselor. Once they're 18 they can join staff, these kids have proven to be amazing leaders when they come of age. In children's ministry I get to serve kids that have their whole life ahead of them. Yes, my ultimate goal is to introduce them to Jesus and teach them how to have a relationship with Him. However, serving our saviour is part of our relationship and I believe I would be failing them if I didn't teach and give them opportunities as well.

Part of my passion comes from my own layers, when I was 6 years old I was picked up by the church bus every Sunday. I sang songs and learned verses. Once my parents started attending and I no longer needed to ride the bus, our pastor offered me the role of "bus captain"! I was 10, and my job was to make a list of songs and verses to lead as we picked up kids on the way to church.  At the age of 14 I began teaching little lambs with an elderly woman who knew she didn't have many more years of chasing three year olds. I taught with Miss Evelyn for a year before she stepped down, she taught me every piece of that class from crafts, to preparing a lesson for kids that small, to talking with parents. For this reason, we pair new volunteers with someone who has been at it a while. Lastly, all the mentors I have ever had gave me freedom or ownership. As a natural control person this can be difficult to let projects go, but your workers will usually be more dedicated and passionate if they have creative freedom within the support you provide. Many years of people adding "layers" to me came in handy when I married my husband who was a pastor of a small church. This church could be seen as a small country church with nothing for kids, I saw a fresh canvas!

The opportunity for adults, teens, and kids to learn as they go, and grow as they learn is a necessity. Jesus was constantly on the move as he taught, usually on His way to do something else. Life didn't stop for training. Which don't get me wrong, I love a good conference but give me a mentor who has been at it for fifty years and wants to add some more layers to me day by day and I believe that's a goldmine! So for this reason I pass you the following 5 questions to consider...

1. What are you doing every day that can be a teachable moment for someone willing to learn?
2. Are you giving your ministry kids (or adults) an opportunity and the skills to serve?
3. Do your leaders feel like they have freedom within your support to own their projects?
4. Can you spot your future leaders? That 10 year old tech savvy kid, are you adding layers to him?
5. Who are YOU learning from? There's no limit to your layers.

I hope your mind is buzzing with ideas of how to invest in people who will someday take the reigns and effectively communicate the gospel to future generations.  As always, I love to hear your thoughts and bounce ideas. Join me on twitter or cmconnect!

Blessings for your day,

Heidi M Hensley

Consisent and Balanced Parenting with Sissy Goff and David Thomas

 

 

"too much talk, too much emotion" 

Two consistent mistakes parents make in consistency and balance.

Being a Consistent Parent

Start with a yellow light

Give them a choice....and then accelerate the consequences

• a signal that tells them you better get it under control.

Follow through

Let the consequences (and one liners) do the teaching

Move on and help them to, as well.

Being a Balanced Parent

Balancing support

• Too much support limits growth

• Support through questions

Balancing emotions

• Emotionally charged moments = mistakes 

•  Time outs aren't just for toddlers

Being a Patient Parent

Be aware of time (start 15 minutes earlier)

Be aware of your expectations of your child

• Emotional expectations
• Social expectations

Be aware of your expectations of yourself

Remember that we serve a God who redeems.  All things.  And all mistakes. Even yours. 

5 ministry tools - From the Archive

Recently I had coffee with a children's leader who I have been mentoring. She is relatively new to children's ministry and asked "What makes your life easier?". Of course I started with the advice of being in the word, daily prayer, (like a good mentor should) and making sure you are being fed as a leader. While it doesn't necessarily make ministry "easy" it does however make it joyful! She grinned and agreed, then proceeded with the question "no, really! What products make your children's ministry world spin?" Ah. Better stated there!

As we all know, the Biblical foundation is the center of what we do. But for this woman, she had no idea where to start with basic tools. I am finding that the more I speak to fellow city ministry leaders that we are a huge source of product review! So much to the point that our next coffee session will be just that. Once a quarter I invite the leaders of everything kidmin in our county to coffee. We discuss special events; ministry development, and so much more. Let's face it, a group of children's ministry leaders in one place all hyped up on coffee can be quite the event! So this time I have asked them to bring 5 and 5. Five they loved; and 5 not so much and tell us why.

So for my online friends who I consistently am asked for recommendations from, here are my top five children's ministry products. I lean on them to assist with what I do, and have picked them from a stewardship standpoint. A product that conserves my ministry time and money is huge to me. Of course there are more than 5, but let's keep it simple.

1.  CPC - Children's Pastor's Conference and CMConnect
Yes, I am listing it as a product! As a leader I need to be refueled and so does my team. I have       learned over the years that ministry vision can become tunnel vision if allowed. For me this conference causes me to think a little different. Every year I go with a vague list of things I have been praying about. Last year, it was family ministry. This year it will be special needs. I will attempt to soak up everything I can on this topic as well as some personal care and leadership time. When I leave this session every year, I am energized and feel like another corner of my brain has just been opened. Bottom line, there is a price tag, but plan ahead and get the early bird rate because it's worth it.
As for CMConnect, it's a free online forum of constant children's ministry knowledge! Try it!

2. Kid Check
If you follow me on twitter, you know I love it! I have been in ministry for 17 years and this is the first record keeping/security software I have found that I can honestly say does everything I want it to. I have actually made up grand scheme ideas of things I think it should do....and later found out it does. This product is paired with an amazing customer service team. The help desk is available on Sundays should you need them, and there are packages to fit any congregation size. The best part is the fact that they are not stuck in a time zone, this company keeps up with technology and is consistently adding features to make it effective.

3. Parent Link Newsletter
Tools! I love them! I absolutely love giving my parents tools for at home use. I however do not like tools that are so formatted I have to make compromises by using them. This is a yearly subscription newsletter for parents. It's basic information, usually with a seasonal theme that can be fully personalized to your church. If you don't like a portion, delete it and fill with what you like. I make this available on our church site as well as have a few printed copies for parents. It comes in a download in word or publisher and it extremely user friendly.

4. Kidology
Tools, did I mention I love them? The last one was for parents, this one is for my leaders. In a ministry where we have over a hundred volunteers and several key staff, it's so important to make sure they have the tools that they need. Our teachers are provided with curriculum, crafts, copies and music, but what happens when they need that extra something? This is a simple subscription we carry and is a hub of tools for leaders. They can login and get anything from holiday ideas to object lessons and they love it.

5. Protect My Ministry
Background checks. If you aren't doing them, you are putting your ministry in harm's way. We used a service for years that was paper driven. As you know, entering backgrounds one by one is very time consuming and that information can't be given to just anyone to input. Making the change to protect my ministry financially is about the same for the cost of each check, but for a small yearly fee depending on what you select; volunteers can be sent a link to input their own information and you receive the results.  They have yearly reminders and keep up with today's technology. This is new for me; but has already saved me hours of time!

Like I said, these are five of my favorites. There are some great things out there that are created for children's ministry by people who have served and know the demands. Have a recommendation? Leave me a comment! I love hearing about new stuff!

Beautiful Scars - Revisited

This week I have been preparing a training talk for a group of leaders.  I always begin speaking to adults with the same intro, "My name is Heidi Hensley and I am a children's ministry leader, there are three things you should know before we begin. 1. I will over explain words and details (kids love details) 2. I may ask you to race to our passages of scripture 3. If you participate well, I may throw candy." Of course this always is quite entertaining to say, but they roar in laughter when I actually do toss the first snickers bar. I love what I do, I (we) are called to shape and mold future generations, presidents, teachers, pastors and parents......spiritually. Our "job" in children's ministry is to bring Jesus into a child's world. I take what I do very seriously and am daily humbled that Jesus sees me as an individual capable of introducing children to Him.

I had originally planned on talking about how we as leaders have these canvases to work with. Often children are hearing the gospel for the first time, and so many see kids as a blank canvas who just needs Jesus' colors. I once had a Sr. pastor friend tell me "you're job is easier, the world hasn't gotten them yet", which in some ways affirmed the fresh canvas theory. Don't you love those moments that you have an absolute outline in your head of what you will be saying, and it translates completely different?

As I started working, I picked up a file to put it back in my drawer, out of it slid a report that I had to make to child protective services. I put it away and slowly realized that while my heart was heavy for that child, it wasn't shocked. This is sadly, something that we see more and more. As I went back to work, I just couldn't describe kids as a pretty canvas the world hasn't "gotten to" yet.  The kids we work with, they have scars, and if I am classifying them as unhurt, how will they ever know what to do with those scars.

Did you know, child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education? About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. The adults that my pastor friend was speaking of was missing one detail. The wounded adults that he was ministering too, well many of their wounds had happened as children.

Everything from divorce, molestation, lack of parent participation in life, physical abuse, bullying, learning disorders to speech impediments, they all leave marks on our canvas. Don't get me wrong, there are also beautiful marks of love on those canvases too! So what do we teach them? Typically we as Christians teach that Jesus paints that canvas white. He takes our sins and throws them as far as the east is from the west... I believe this, we are forgiven! So what about the remains of the sin, the scars? This is typically where the child begins to grow and gets frustrated as they approach adulthood that the residual effects or consequences of sin haven't just disappeared.

Jesus could have chosen to raise from the dead that third day and have returned un-scarred, but He didn't! His scars were visible, they were remains of hate and sin, and yet we see them as some of the most beautiful marks. Children need to know that their sins are forgiven, but they also need to be taught that the lasting effects on their life can be used to glorify God.

So with that idea, my canvas when I start my talk will be dirty and marked up with what the world has tossed at our kids instead of white. And I will hopefully be able to do a visual of Jesus letting those shine through to glorify Him as He forgives.

As a leader I challenge you to look away from those descriptions of the perfect child, from the perfect home, with the great grades, it's a different world. Take a look at your ministry kids this Sunday, maybe they need to hear that God is capable of using their scars for His purpose.

Train up a parent? - from the archives

Family Ministry

According to Nielsen Media Research's latest report, the average American household watches 8 hours and 15 minutes of television in a 24-hour period. The average amount of time per individual (over the age of 2) is about 4 and a half hours. Something tells me this isn't the bonding type of T.V., if there is a bonding type. As a mom of two, ages 10 and 16 I fully understand that our children are having life piped into them by various objects. Even as I sit here, I am on my laptop, husband next to me is on his phone, 16 year old on his phone and the Olympic games are on T.V.. Our youngest however is outside playing with friends, kudos Jonah! The three of us are in the same space, but there is no togetherness happening. While this is not always the norm for our house, it is for many. 

Let's face it, we live in a world of constant interaction via technology. For companies needing to market a product, this is a beautiful thing, for parents wanting to mold their children into pillars of faith, not so much. I can actually get a faster response for dinner requests via text than asking around! And with an iPhone I can do it in one message, and yes I have! While being a tech savvy family is ok, it must require balance. Even in church we are broken up, kids are dropped off and parents worship elsewhere. I agree that age appropriate worship is essential, but we have got to teach our families to do it together as well. 

So why did I just take you on that side road? Well, families! This year we added Family Ministry to our church. After our senior pastor approved this addition to my current position, I sat down last November and made a list of things I desire and then asked God to fix my list as He always does. My vision or list was as follows:

1. Cost effective activities for families of all ages 
2.Training for parents - parenting classes
3. One getaway for families - a weekend of family tech free interaction 
4. To see parents and kids praying together and for one another
5. Hands on local mission projects for families to do together
6. Tools for families via our website

I kept this list on the corner of my desk for a while and prayed about it, and am happy to say there wasn't much change. Once we had the first gathering, it was like wildfire! Families are craving something different, and many have no idea where to begin. I started by putting dinner time devotions on our website that were a simple three to five minutes over the dinner table. Which of course causes them to eat together! Pray together! And interact! Score! 

I have come to the conclusion that family ministry is a must, not a program, not a curriculum, and not a token annual date. The current generation of up and coming parents have one of the largest percentages to have never been to church. They need answers, tools, direction, and the Biblical principals to do this. More importantly they are seeking all these things, and are willing to listen. 

So as you plan, plan for families. If you're having a church picnic, find an activity for parents to do with their children. Find ways to have parents and kids serve in ministry together, in the end you will really have trained up two generations at once. 

Blessings,

Heidi

Salvation: leading kids to Christ

Salvation: Leading kids to Christ

Teaching kids about Jesus is something that I love, getting to introduce Him to their world and see them form their thoughts about God, church and faith is one of the things I love most about what I do. But as a Children's ministry leader, I also recognize that this is in fact what I do. Our team is comfortable having conversations about salvation and baptism on a kid level and answering all their questions. But what about the parent or grandparent who fully understands salvation and baptism for themselves, but has a hard time getting it to the level of a kindergartner? Or what about the parents who might still be learning this information for themselves? 

This month we will look at salvation discussions that can happen in the home. While we know they hear it at church, we want to know our families are also prepared to talk to and even pray with their kids.  Praying a prayer of salvation with our ministry kids is amazing, but the ability to share that moment as a parent is a memory that is a treasure. 

Most kids with a church background know that:
1. God created everything
2. Jesus is God's son
3. Jesus died on the cross for our sins
4. That we cannot experience heaven or grace without Jesus

It is in the next area that kids have the basic understanding, but need to know that we must ask to be forgiven, and make a decision to commit our lives to following God. The place I often see a lack of understanding of kids, is the knowledge that there must be a time they have decided to follow Jesus. Many kids think that they were born this way, since they have Christian parents and are growing up in the church. I love to ask kids when they were saved, and hear about that experience. When they start with "I have always been a Christian" I know we need to talk. One of the key moments of salvation is repentance, we must acknowledge that we are sinners, and no matter how many times we go to church our how great our behavior, we must admit this before God and ask for salvation. I love to teach this with a gift, I have a kid hold it out to give it to me. And I tell them that it's mine (while refusing to take it) but insisting it belongs to me. This helps them see that salvation is freely given to those who believe, but we must choose to accept it. The beauty in this is the ability to teach that there will be times we mess up and need to ask forgiveness, for a child who didn't do that in the first place, this doesn't make sense. 

Another area of confusion for kids is when they are simply given a prayer to repeat and then left to go about their life, it communicates that this was an action, not a lifelong commitment. So how do we teach kids that salvation is more than a repeated prayer? They need to hear it, and see it.  Below I have included some ways to get the conversations going in your home. Maybe you will find that your kids are more spiritually mature and understood than even you know! Maybe you will find there are some things they need more help understanding. And maybe you might be able to pray with your child as they come to a full understanding of God's grace through a discussion with you. (how exciting!)

Testimony Time: Your kids may know you to be a Christian, but have they heard your testimony? Spend a week sharing these! Maybe around a dinner table, allow one person a night to tell their story. How they came to know Jesus, where were you when you prayed? Who was with you? What God has done for you since that time? And don't forget to share the relationship you have with Him now. Kids love to know these things about their parents!

Verses to know: As we know, salvation doesn't stop. Once we have given our life to Jesus, we are to share that with others. It's important that kids know that too. One way to help kids (and adults) prepare to share their faith is to equip them with the too
ls to do so. Here are some very important verses that you can learn as a family this month to strengthen those sharing muscles. (Matthew 8:8-12; Matthew 19:25-26;  Romans 3:8; and Romans 10:9-10)

If you find your self in a position to lead a child to Christ, don't over complicate it. Salvation is intended to be simple, as simple as A,B,C's. A brief discussion of making sure they understand that they Admit that they are a sinner, and this separates them from God. Believe that Jesus paid God's price for their sin by dying on the cross. Confess and repent of their sin and come to Jesus by faith. And Decide to live for Him. Some kids just don't know how to start, when you bow to pray, ask them if they want your help with the words or if they are ok praying on their own. Most kids will formulate the sweetest prayers on their own once they have a full understanding of what they need to do. And if they need help, that is ok too. 

I would love to hear of some great family discussions this month!

Teaching Families to Worship

            
As we unpack what worship is, it is important that we understand that worship is about God; it has nothing to do with us. More than being a part of the congregation or singing, worship is what we were created to do. Teaching kids that worship is a constant motion within us that doesn’t cease can help them better understand that it is more about our relationship with Christ and less about actions.  Worship is our inner (and sometimes outer) response to God that displays our reverence, honor, respect, love and joy for Him. 

Worship begins with salvation. When we can humbly come to accept Jesus and the gift of eternal life we begin to worship Him for loving us, the debt He paid, and accepting us into His kingdom. This form of worship is personal, and can only be truly expressed by a transformed heart.

·       If your kids have prayed the prayer of salvation, encourage them to tell you what God has done for them. And help them identify that their joy and love in these words is representative of their worship for Him.

The Bible has many scriptures about worshipping God with others. Worship within you is very important, but worship as a family and church is too. Colossians 3:16 says “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Coming together to praise, learn and encourage each other are all things we do as worship to God.

·       Help your kids understand why we come together, and then prepare. Arriving at church late and rushed can throw off the day and most often attitudes. Get to church on time; consider grabbing something from the café and having a few minutes to talk before kids go to class.

As parents, we can teach our kids to be mindful of worship. Kids need to know that they can worship God anywhere, at any time, in any circumstance. We also need to remember that worship happens in the good and hard times of life. Psalm 34:3 says, “Oh magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name forever.”

·       Encourage your family to take a mental note of things that are in their day. Things like, a beautiful day, being at school, God’s continual care as we travel etc. Over dinner ask what they noticed. Kids (and parents too) will begin to see the creation around them differently and can be encouraged to worship God for it.

In January we focused on prayer, continuing with that article, remind kids that prayer is also a form of worship. Teaching them a few more ways to pray like:  “God you are great because… I worship you because….” Will help them put worship into words. As you do this, read through some of the Psalms to see how others spoke praises to God. Taking in God’s word and reflecting on the scriptures is a form of worship too.

·      Read a Psalm a day as a family.

How is your radio? Music is an amazing tool for worship! We all know the song selection at church glorifies God, but what about the car? Or the house? Encourage kids to sing and listen to music as worship.  Finding music everyone enjoys and making a playlist for the car is a way to get the whole family singing along.

·       Let kids choose some music. There are great bands with every sound for worship, look online or at the Bible bookstore and let kids make a selection for their use.  Be willing to let them play it in the car or when chores are being done, involvement in this choice will keep them motivated.

Lastly, giving is worship. Giving God our everything, our time, our talents, and even our tithe, are all acts of worship. Teaching kids to give through serving and through financial stewardship will lay the foundation for them to understand that these are acts of faith that God will provide and worship for what he has provided.

·       More than likely you are already serving others in some capacity at church. Verbalize why you do this, many kids know their parents serve as a teacher or sing in the choir, but do they know why you do it? Once explained, encourage kids to find ways to serve as well, helping them identify spiritual gifts that can be used to worship God.

Use these small steps in the month of March to focus on all the many ways of worship. 

Beyond Background Checks

If you attended this session at CPC, thank you! You made it so much fun.

Below you will find the slide show as promised. If you didn't attend the session, you can get a copy of it on the incm website and use these notes as tips.

Remember, what we do requires us keeping kids safe. A safe loving, well thought out atmosphere allows families to go to church together and grow without worrying about safety.

Here is the link to my volunteer application as well.

Families that encourage

Encouragement! A gift that can be given at any time, to or from or any age. If you are a mom, a wife, a leader or a human being in general….you know that words of encouragement can completely change your day and outlook. We see time after time in scripture where believers work to encourage each other in faith, just as we are also called to do.

Last month we focused on prayer, this month we will look at ways to teach our families to be encouragers themselves. By no coincidence, one of the easiest things to do for someone as a method of encouragement is to pray for them! And since we covered that last month, we will use it as we go this month.  For the month of February we will be looking at three different aims of encouragement.

1. In the home
2. Among peers
3. To leaders

For most of us with kids, we realize that reality is there will be moments kids argue, fight, and worst of all.. cross that imaginary line in the backseat of the car into each other's space. These methods will not be a bypass for any of that, but will create moments that can become life long investments and teachable times for your family.

There is also interaction with peers, these days this can be everything from fellow workers, students, teammates, and our online communities. Especially in the online world, giving gifts of encouragement can help kids with the temptation of cyber bullying and understand that social media can be used in a positive way.

As for our leaders, over and over in scripture we see leaders encouraging one another. As leaders would become discouraged or work grew heavy, the received letters or visits encouraging them to continue their good work for the Lord. Leadership in any form is hard, and having someone pray for you or even just speak words of encouragement can be priceless. 

How we speak to each other can determine the mood of our home, workplace or online communities.

• A younger sibling often beams with joy when an older sibling shows their approval. Encourage older siblings to vocalize something good that their younger brother or sister has done or is improving in. 

• As parents, we lose access to our kids for about 7 hours a day while they attend school. Little notes of encouragement in lunches, backpacks or on bathroom mirrors as they start their day are great. 

• Routine things like chores or homework, offering a kind word or even a helping hand can be encouraging. Often times we as parents are so happy it's simply done, that we fail to mention a job well done. Our kids need to hear these words. 

• Say thank you! Every morning my 17 year comes downstairs and I have made some form of breakfast. Even if we are late and its a banana and a granola bar, he says thank you for whatever it is. It simply tells me my efforts didn't go unnoticed. Encourage everyone in your home to say thank you for every little thing, and watch the family interaction change. 

• Encouragement in general is important; but spiritual encouragement is also needed. Praising your kids for noticing that they are in the word daily, or thanking them for praying at mealtimes will encourage them to keep going strong. 

• Thanking a leader for being faithful, this speaks volumes

 Hebrews 3:13 says "But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." Finding ways to lift each other up in all areas of life  is an investment that will pay off as your children enter adulthood.  The question is how? Here are some ways to become a family of encouragement:

Here is the challenge for February:

1. Pick a leader to pray for, and let them know they are being prayed for, let kids choose a teacher or leader as well.

2. Offer 1 messages of encouragement a day on social media. Most Americans are on social media for an average of 17 minutes a day. Why not use 1 or 2 minutes to post a verse of encouragement or kind word to a peer.

3. Draw a name! Much like the "secret santa" concept, exchange names in your home and pray for your person, offer kind words, most families find that kids have a very natural gift of encouragement. 

4. Challenge your kids to offer one statement of encouragement to their siblings… this is amazing in action.

Random acts of kindness can be so encouraging, and many of us are great at them when it comes to strangers. I can't help but wonder what homes and workplaces, and schools would look like if the same effort was extended to those we love on a regular basis. 

Blessings,

Heidi

Ready, Set, CPC!

What a week! Have you ever gone into an intense week of life with your exact plan mapped out, only to discover that it wasn't going to look anything like you planned?

As I started this week, I had intended to have some fun (since it was in fact a vacation) and get to share tons about CPC East! As we arrived at Disney, I became keenly aware of just how tired I was. My family had been running as hard (if not harder) than myself… and we needed a break! Thankfully, I took it! My husband and I ran all over Disney laughing and cutting up with our boys and we simply exhaled.

We did get to teach a couple breakouts, which was the intention, and do the Saturday morning coaching session. So, while I must apologize as a blogger for my lack of…..well, blogging, I can pass on to you a couple valuable lessons from CPC East! And hopefully you will be joining us at CPC West where you can cash them in! I will be there, with my team, and will be blogging. (seriously!)

At CPC East I caught myself needing to exhale, and simply be reminded that ministry is NEVER done. As a mom of a kid that will be a college student in the fall, I can tell you the time goes by quick!

Don't assume that I just skipped town and left tasks (ha!) I am thankful that by nature I am organized, my "work ahead" mentality allows me to set things down and rest from time to time. And this week as a leader, I was able to watch my family play, eat ridiculous things dipped in caramel and have moments of quiet to get closer to God and my family.

As I watched the fellow leaders at CPC, I wondered what state of mind they were in, sitting in the foyer many were on the phone and I was overhearing work talk from home. For some I spied them early in the morning out by the lake for what seemed to be their quiet time. (what can I say, I'm a people watcher)

My question to you leader, is what do you do to get conference ready? Do you come to CPC with a loaded mind that can't fit anything else in? Or do you go with your desk left clean at home and a brain ready to absorb? CPC is a place for many to relight a fire, to find fellowship among those that we share experiences in ministry with, and for some it can be a last hope in ministry as they seek God.

Here is what I am challenging us (including myself) to do before CPC West, ready?

1. Clean your desk - tie up all those loose ends, return those calls, all those little tedious tasks that consume our minds when we lay down at night. Just get them off your plate!

2. Get your programs covered - while ministry emergencies and issues do come up, make sure you are well staffed and your teachers have everything they need for any programming you may miss.

3. Make a wish list - Make a list of at least 10 things you expect to get out of CPC. Things like ministry questions answered, a contact who has expertise in a certain area etc.

4. Make an appointment with yourself - this is a great time as a leader to have a moment of quiet prayer and self assessment. For me, it has become my yearly self review.  It's also a way to find rest, a simple 30 minutes alone with yourself and God can make a huge difference.

5. Pray! - Go online and download the speaker list. Pray over those names and breakouts and sessions. Leaders like me appreciate it,,, I know I simply want to be used by God, and having people partner in prayer for that is awesome!

6. Leave a clean house - Well, not literally, but if you do literally…bonus points! Make sure your spouse and kids are good to go! When I come to CPC with my team, to work, I love to get a new movie and a special dinner for them. Happy homes :)

7. Schedule a coaching session - this year you will be allowed to schedule a coaching session at the end of the conference with the breakout presenters. This is an awesome opportunity! Take advantage of this free leadership training peice. 

8. Prepare to come, and have fun!! - bring your funny bone, and come ready to learn,
fellowship, worship and laugh as we grow stronger as spiritual leaders!

I hope to see you there!!

Greetings from CPC 2014

This week we are at the Children's Pastor's Conference in Orlando! I am looking forward to seeing some very familiar faces and getting to know some new ones! If you are in Children's or Family Ministries, it's not too late! Join us via live broadcast during the general sessions. Information is available at incm.org, or even better…join us in Ontario California next month.

Until then, I will be posting notes that I think are useful from some great speakers, as well as my own session notes. So keep an eye on the blog this week for some great material and fun moments in ministry. Maybe we can get Karl to rush the stage again!

Kids That Pray

This month the focus is prayer. If you haven't read last week's post "Families that Pray" I encourage you to do so. Last week's post was designed to use at home with families. This week we will discuss it from a leadership perspective.

Like most Children's Ministry Leaders, we all hope that every child goes home to a place that during the week they are ministered to. Families that invest in one another and parents that are highly involved in the spiritual development of our ministry kids. But when reality sets in, we realize they don't all have that atmosphere. In fact I have some kids (as I am sure every other leader does too) that show up alone on Sundays and walk blocks to return home. For some of these kids I question whether or not their physical necessities are being provided as they tell me there was no breakfast and we do what we can to meet their physical and spiritual needs as well. 

We all have these heart wrenching cases that arrive weekly, so what about these kids? Who is teaching them that church and a relationship with Jesus is more than Sunday? Who is encouraging them to be in the word and to pray? I once had a friend tell me "Teaching them the books of the Bible seems irrelevant when all they want is something to eat". I understand the statement, but I disagree, we don't have to choose between physical and spiritual investment. These kids need an extra touch, at least in my opinion. In this blog I will attempt to provide leaders with tips to create a strategic plan that assists kids with or without at home support to begin to "own" their faith, something I am very passionate about.

The first step is to not assume anything. As we all know, kids are not books we can judge by a cover.  They may or may not have spiritual support in the home regardless of their appearance or church involvement. In kids church we set the stage by announcing to kids, "If you need help with a reading plan or a praying plan, come talk to us". While them having a solid home foundation is our desire, at the end of the day, our relationship with Jesus is up to us individually.  So whether you have a child with a strong support system or a child with no system at all, these tips can be used, and most by the child alone. 

1. Jesus and Me. Do your kids realize that their relationship with Jesus is theirs? It's not contingent on their parents involvement. When kids understand this, they are more inclined to invest in their own relationship. The understanding that Jesus is THIER savior, and not simply a family friend that you creates a relationship they were born into can be an iconic moment for how kids respond to the gospel. 

2. Prayer is anytime. Challenge your kids church kids to call on Jesus on their own. A simple short "Jesus please help me do my best on this test" or "in this game" teaches them opportunities to call on Him. Creating a list of four or five situational prayers gets this into their DNA and habit and creates an active prayer life for kids. Here is the list I use, kids are encouraged add to it but it is a great simple starting point. 

• Jesus, please help me do my best on this test. 
• Jesus, help me to be a good friend and make right choices. (recess bell)
• Jesus, please keep our family safe as we start our week. (Monday prayer)
• Jesus, thank you for a day of school and friends. (when the dismissal bell rings)
• Jesus, please help me do my best today. (when the starting bell rings at school)

The mind works in amazing ways. Using triggers like school bells as prayer reminders will be something that stays with them for years. I know it has for me. This was something I was taught to do as a kid at Northside Christian Academy in the first grade, and to this day a school bell prompts me to whisper a prayer. Only now it's for my kids as they run onto campus.

For the child without at home support, we need to remember that nobody is really teaching them the elements of prayer other than what they get on Sunday. A simple paper that says ACTS, helps them learn. One of my favorite things is when kids return to church and show me their ACTS prayer paper. It is simply a piece of paper, folded into 4 (creating 4 boxes) placing A,C,T,S, in each box. They stand for adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication. For the kids I use: Adore, Confess, Thanks, Supply. They can write new things in each box as they pray during the week. A super simple template can be made with little explanations of each word for them to take. 

Prayer is communication, and as a kid for whatever reason I thought that I needed to be qualified to do the communicating. Public prayer was actually a long time fear for me because of this misconception, so creating ways for kids to understand that it is simply how we connect and communicate with our heavenly Father is very important to me. 

I would love to hear other approaches and ideas out there. 

Families that Pray

Praying Families. 

A few years ago I had the privilege to put together a family snow retreat. Our goal was really to get kids and parents away from every day life and create memories. Little did I know, a small activity with M&M candies would become one of my most favored ministry moments. It was a simple way to pray, families simply grabbed the candies and each color represented something to pray for. After I had finished prayer with my own family, I looked up to scan the room, and I saw families praying. Kids were praying for mom and dad, moms for dads, and brothers for sisters! While the word beautiful just doesn't say it all, it was, just so beautiful. Later that evening, I asked what one of the kids thought, and she said it was the first time she had every prayed with her parents. She continued that she didn't feel she knew how. Another parent said they had also never prayed as a family, they just didn't know where to start. 

In our constant motion of life, do we sit down at the table and bed-sides and just pray? For our kids? Many of our families (including ours) learned on that trip that while the kids often witnessed the parents praying, they really were more spectators than participants. As kids grow they get that lovely "embarrassment" hormone. Suddenly they are intimidated by something they would happily volunteer for at age 3. It is in the preteen ages that kids become a little more reserved about praying as a family. So I began to question, how do we keep that three year old? 

Here are some ways to teach kids how to pray. I challenge you to try at least two. I have also included the M&M's Prayer guide. Make sure that kids know that prayer is a time with God. Things like laughing at one another for "mess-ups" or making fun should not be allowed. Creating a supportive, positive atmosphere will help kids grow strong in their prayer life. 

Lastly, teaching our kids that they can pray anywhere at anytime is so important. A whispered prayer before a test or recital will teach kids that they can place their fears and joys in Jesus' hands for themselves. 

1) M&M's Prayer, each family member takes a few (you can decide the number) candies. As a family, one parent starts and as you pray for that color of M&M the next person goes until all M&M's are done. 

• yellow - a friend
• blue - a sibling
• green - spouse (or future spouse)
• brown - teacher
• orange - parent
• red - church leader

2) Sentence Prayer. For small children try starting the sentences and letting them finish:

• "Lord, I thank you for …"
• "Lord, forgive me for …"
• "Lord, help my friend …"
• "Lord, help me be more …"
• "Lord, help me to let go of …"
• "Lord, give me the courage to …"

3) Ups and Downs. Ask your children what their "Ups" were from the day, and then ask them about their "downs" from the day. Share yours as well, and then pray for them together.

4) Prayer Journal. Share your prayer requests with the other members of your family and then record them in a prayer journal. Pass the journal and pray over each others requests. The next time you pray together, look over the requests you listed previously and update any changes and answers. This is a good way to see how God has been active in your prayer lives.

5) A.C.T.S. Prayer. This is a well-known form of prayer that is easy to remember:

• A stands for “adoration.” Begin the prayer by simply adoring God for who He is.
• C stands for “confession.” Spend some time confessing your sins.
• T stands for “thanksgiving.” Take time to thank God for the blessings that He has given to you and your family.
• S stands for “supplication.” Lift up specific areas of your life in which you need God to supply for your needs.

6 steps to a smooth new year

As we round out 2013, yes we only have 2 months of it left, it's time to put your planning hat on! Whether you have a team of staff, or it's just you, there are a few steps that can make your new year a little easier. Here are a few tips that can get you pointed in the right "organized" direction. As an example I will use the Harvest Carnival.

1. Calendar your year - while I'm sure this is done for most already, it's key to get the dates on a visible calendar. This gives you an idea of how much you're doing and allows for a bird's eye view of potential conflict and flow.  Ex. Harvest Carnival, October 31st. - connects to the invite for Christmas events.

2. List the elements - Once you have everything on your calendar, a list can be made of elements needed to complete those tasks. My list often includes things like: publicity; design; recruitment; room reservations; training and appreciation. This will of course be based on what the task is.
Ex. design publicity, recruit volunteers...

3. Work backwards - all of the elements can now be added to your calendar as you start at the event and work backwards. Ex. design publicity - August 1st (this now becomes my deadline)

4. Go mobile - There is nothing worse than a well planned year that disappears! All of this info is done and plugged into my electronic calendar for 3 reasons. 1. If my paper calendar is lost; I have a backup (yes.. I love and still use my paper calendar) 2. I can set reminders; A cell phone buzz to keep you on task just works! 3. I can share it - my administrative assistant can see as well as other leaders I share with.

5. Dream a little - It is once all of this is done that I can see what needs updating; to be eliminated; or where we have room to do other things. Tasks 1-4 are usually done for the next year by November 1st; this allows me a couple months to set new goals, make ministry changes (or prepare to) that I have been praying about; as well as cast vision.

6. Claim your gold Stewardship star - as we all know, things are cheaper in the off season. If I know that I will need 400 paper visors for a July event in January, I can buy them on the end of season "summer clearance" sales rather than top dollar with overnight shipping in June. We have seen ministry dollars stretch as a result of this. The key is to keep organized and label things.

 I encourage you to plan well and as far in advance as you can. We all know that God changes plans from time to time, so maintaining the flexibility to accept that while being a good steward of the time, budget and talent you have been entrusted with is the key. I hope you plan a fierce new year, and hold it very loosely. Sometimes we as leaders like to maintain a death-grip on our work, forgetting that our savior can make it more spectacular than we ever could or imagined if we will just hand it to Him.