What's your special need?

It's the end of September! THE END!! How did this happen? Every once and a while I stop by Starbucks, soak up their wifi and do a little writing. The crazy morning traffic around me is music to my ears, and quite frankly, it's people watching heaven.

This morning, I am sitting in said place, tucked into a corner with my "oh, so boring" black coffee. It is the first rain, and people here are fascinating. Where I live, central California, we are in a drought. Yesterday I was in a sundress and sandals and it was a sunny, almost 90 degree day. Today, pouring! Dark, gloomy and cold. I love it! We Californian's don't quite get it quickly, I have seen everything from wool trench coats to shorts and sandals. While it's funny, I am one of them with my open toe shoes. Ha!! In denial, I suppose.

So why am I sitting here writing? And why am I sharing all this (other than the obvious fascination)? This last week I taught a class on special needs at my annual training conference, and I loved it. I am in no way an expert, just a kids ministry leader who believes it's my job to create a successful environment for kids to learn about Jesus, every kid. And with that calling, comes research, work, and lessons learned.

At the beginning of my session I had someone tell me "I am seeing what this is all about, I think people need to go where they can be served with severe needs, otherwise the majority of kids just have discipline issues". Pardon? Let me say, I asked this individual if it was okay to use this very teachable moment...and don't judge to quickly, there's still a session in there ;)

This leader resembled some of the very old school teachers and volunteers I have worked with in the past. They aren't mean or uncompassionate, they simply don't understand, and as we have educated them, they wholeheartedly jump on board.  So this leader, while I will never be an expert in this ever changing area, is going to attempt to share her heart with you, and hopefully you find it useful in kids ministry.

First, did you know...
1 in every 68 kids in the US are on the autistic spectrum
1 in ever 691 babies born has down syndrome
1 in every 10 US kids have ADHD
1 in every 13 kids has a life threatening food allergy

I don't know about you, but those stats catch my eye! I remember when you MIGHT meet someone with down syndrome, or what is now identified as autism, but it was rare (not to give my age away) but we are watching these numbers climb on a regular basis now, and the church better keep up.  Why? Because we are missing these families! Parents who have kids with special needs will either stay home or alternate Sundays at best while keeping kids home. These kids never get to church....did you hear that? It should make your heart sink! For the church, it's not about the why, or the how. Let's leave that to the specialists! The scriptures tell us that we were handcrafted by our creator, all different, all unique, and with very different needs. I have a hard time believing that any of this was in error.

Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

As I spoke, I could see that leaders face change, we were called to spread the gospel and minister to kids. All of them. I like to remind people, we all have special needs. Yes you! Sitting here as I type, I don't have milk in my coffee because I am allergic to dairy, I am against a wall because people behind me causes anxiety (not kidding). I asked the people in my session to raise their hand for various needs and as they did, I reminded them we all have them. Don't get me wrong, we will never be equipped to do it all in one place, again why our differences are beautiful, but if we all do what we can, we can cover some serious ground. Here are 5 things we have tried to improve how we respond to the children and families in our church with special needs. 

1. Know your population - for us, we had to learn what needs we had. We have a strong population of kids with ADHD, Autism and food allergies. 

2. Train your workers - they don't need to have a degree, but the simple awareness that this is a growing population and a few triggers and response guidelines takes out the fear of the unknown. 

3. Asses your space, and decide your response - in our ministry, this looks like a buddy system. We have volunteers who buddy with kids and attend class with them. These volunteers are there to be a friend, to guide and help them be successful in the classroom with their peers while allowing the teacher to focus. This allows a relationship to happen with the parents, and as they bond, the buddy learns how to respond to the needs of the children in the most successful way. (every child with special needs is different!)

4. Share the vision - your congregation, all of them, need to know. Whether you decide on a classroom or a buddy system, there are always those that have a calling for this area that you know nothing about. Teaching or kids ministry in general might not be their thing, but they once had a relative that missed out because of needs like these. These people are woven into your congregation, and they are gems! Share that vision with all ages! Our buddies range from 16 years old to 60 years old and are the sweetest to watch!

5. Set your boundaries, and go! - While I would love to say "bring all kids of all needs" I have to remember that safety counts. We decided to start with kids 0-8 years old, and have since gone up as kids have gotten older. Set some parameters that you are equipped to handle, and get started. Just remember to be open to growth and development, because as these families are ministered to, more will come. Moms and dads getting to simply go to church becomes the sweetest Sunday sight. 

Lastly, diagnoses. This is the question I am most asked about, "how do you point them out"? Well, I don't. We simply invite, we invite parents to tell us if their child might need a buddy, and I personally try to ask every new parent, its a general question for us. Remember, we all have some level of special needs. On our registration cards we ask about food allergies and safety issues, and whether a child has special needs. When the fear of difference is turned into a realization that we all have special needs, it helps. Again, it's not about diagnosing a child, it's about creating a safe, fun, nurturing atmosphere that we can teach them about Jesus in. 

As I brought the session to a wrap, that leader simply walked up to me with the warmest smile and said "loud and clear....I have work to do"! I cannot wait to hear about how he is led to work with the kids in his church that are currently staying home. 

What do you do for your ministry in this area?

Salvation: leading kids to Christ

Salvation: Leading kids to Christ

Teaching kids about Jesus is something that I love, getting to introduce Him to their world and see them form their thoughts about God, church and faith is one of the things I love most about what I do. But as a Children's ministry leader, I also recognize that this is in fact what I do. Our team is comfortable having conversations about salvation and baptism on a kid level and answering all their questions. But what about the parent or grandparent who fully understands salvation and baptism for themselves, but has a hard time getting it to the level of a kindergartner? Or what about the parents who might still be learning this information for themselves? 

This month we will look at salvation discussions that can happen in the home. While we know they hear it at church, we want to know our families are also prepared to talk to and even pray with their kids.  Praying a prayer of salvation with our ministry kids is amazing, but the ability to share that moment as a parent is a memory that is a treasure. 

Most kids with a church background know that:
1. God created everything
2. Jesus is God's son
3. Jesus died on the cross for our sins
4. That we cannot experience heaven or grace without Jesus

It is in the next area that kids have the basic understanding, but need to know that we must ask to be forgiven, and make a decision to commit our lives to following God. The place I often see a lack of understanding of kids, is the knowledge that there must be a time they have decided to follow Jesus. Many kids think that they were born this way, since they have Christian parents and are growing up in the church. I love to ask kids when they were saved, and hear about that experience. When they start with "I have always been a Christian" I know we need to talk. One of the key moments of salvation is repentance, we must acknowledge that we are sinners, and no matter how many times we go to church our how great our behavior, we must admit this before God and ask for salvation. I love to teach this with a gift, I have a kid hold it out to give it to me. And I tell them that it's mine (while refusing to take it) but insisting it belongs to me. This helps them see that salvation is freely given to those who believe, but we must choose to accept it. The beauty in this is the ability to teach that there will be times we mess up and need to ask forgiveness, for a child who didn't do that in the first place, this doesn't make sense. 

Another area of confusion for kids is when they are simply given a prayer to repeat and then left to go about their life, it communicates that this was an action, not a lifelong commitment. So how do we teach kids that salvation is more than a repeated prayer? They need to hear it, and see it.  Below I have included some ways to get the conversations going in your home. Maybe you will find that your kids are more spiritually mature and understood than even you know! Maybe you will find there are some things they need more help understanding. And maybe you might be able to pray with your child as they come to a full understanding of God's grace through a discussion with you. (how exciting!)

Testimony Time: Your kids may know you to be a Christian, but have they heard your testimony? Spend a week sharing these! Maybe around a dinner table, allow one person a night to tell their story. How they came to know Jesus, where were you when you prayed? Who was with you? What God has done for you since that time? And don't forget to share the relationship you have with Him now. Kids love to know these things about their parents!

Verses to know: As we know, salvation doesn't stop. Once we have given our life to Jesus, we are to share that with others. It's important that kids know that too. One way to help kids (and adults) prepare to share their faith is to equip them with the too
ls to do so. Here are some very important verses that you can learn as a family this month to strengthen those sharing muscles. (Matthew 8:8-12; Matthew 19:25-26;  Romans 3:8; and Romans 10:9-10)

If you find your self in a position to lead a child to Christ, don't over complicate it. Salvation is intended to be simple, as simple as A,B,C's. A brief discussion of making sure they understand that they Admit that they are a sinner, and this separates them from God. Believe that Jesus paid God's price for their sin by dying on the cross. Confess and repent of their sin and come to Jesus by faith. And Decide to live for Him. Some kids just don't know how to start, when you bow to pray, ask them if they want your help with the words or if they are ok praying on their own. Most kids will formulate the sweetest prayers on their own once they have a full understanding of what they need to do. And if they need help, that is ok too. 

I would love to hear of some great family discussions this month!

Teaching Families to Worship

            
As we unpack what worship is, it is important that we understand that worship is about God; it has nothing to do with us. More than being a part of the congregation or singing, worship is what we were created to do. Teaching kids that worship is a constant motion within us that doesn’t cease can help them better understand that it is more about our relationship with Christ and less about actions.  Worship is our inner (and sometimes outer) response to God that displays our reverence, honor, respect, love and joy for Him. 

Worship begins with salvation. When we can humbly come to accept Jesus and the gift of eternal life we begin to worship Him for loving us, the debt He paid, and accepting us into His kingdom. This form of worship is personal, and can only be truly expressed by a transformed heart.

·       If your kids have prayed the prayer of salvation, encourage them to tell you what God has done for them. And help them identify that their joy and love in these words is representative of their worship for Him.

The Bible has many scriptures about worshipping God with others. Worship within you is very important, but worship as a family and church is too. Colossians 3:16 says “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Coming together to praise, learn and encourage each other are all things we do as worship to God.

·       Help your kids understand why we come together, and then prepare. Arriving at church late and rushed can throw off the day and most often attitudes. Get to church on time; consider grabbing something from the café and having a few minutes to talk before kids go to class.

As parents, we can teach our kids to be mindful of worship. Kids need to know that they can worship God anywhere, at any time, in any circumstance. We also need to remember that worship happens in the good and hard times of life. Psalm 34:3 says, “Oh magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name forever.”

·       Encourage your family to take a mental note of things that are in their day. Things like, a beautiful day, being at school, God’s continual care as we travel etc. Over dinner ask what they noticed. Kids (and parents too) will begin to see the creation around them differently and can be encouraged to worship God for it.

In January we focused on prayer, continuing with that article, remind kids that prayer is also a form of worship. Teaching them a few more ways to pray like:  “God you are great because… I worship you because….” Will help them put worship into words. As you do this, read through some of the Psalms to see how others spoke praises to God. Taking in God’s word and reflecting on the scriptures is a form of worship too.

·      Read a Psalm a day as a family.

How is your radio? Music is an amazing tool for worship! We all know the song selection at church glorifies God, but what about the car? Or the house? Encourage kids to sing and listen to music as worship.  Finding music everyone enjoys and making a playlist for the car is a way to get the whole family singing along.

·       Let kids choose some music. There are great bands with every sound for worship, look online or at the Bible bookstore and let kids make a selection for their use.  Be willing to let them play it in the car or when chores are being done, involvement in this choice will keep them motivated.

Lastly, giving is worship. Giving God our everything, our time, our talents, and even our tithe, are all acts of worship. Teaching kids to give through serving and through financial stewardship will lay the foundation for them to understand that these are acts of faith that God will provide and worship for what he has provided.

·       More than likely you are already serving others in some capacity at church. Verbalize why you do this, many kids know their parents serve as a teacher or sing in the choir, but do they know why you do it? Once explained, encourage kids to find ways to serve as well, helping them identify spiritual gifts that can be used to worship God.

Use these small steps in the month of March to focus on all the many ways of worship. 

Beyond Background Checks

If you attended this session at CPC, thank you! You made it so much fun.

Below you will find the slide show as promised. If you didn't attend the session, you can get a copy of it on the incm website and use these notes as tips.

Remember, what we do requires us keeping kids safe. A safe loving, well thought out atmosphere allows families to go to church together and grow without worrying about safety.

Here is the link to my volunteer application as well.

Families that encourage

Encouragement! A gift that can be given at any time, to or from or any age. If you are a mom, a wife, a leader or a human being in general….you know that words of encouragement can completely change your day and outlook. We see time after time in scripture where believers work to encourage each other in faith, just as we are also called to do.

Last month we focused on prayer, this month we will look at ways to teach our families to be encouragers themselves. By no coincidence, one of the easiest things to do for someone as a method of encouragement is to pray for them! And since we covered that last month, we will use it as we go this month.  For the month of February we will be looking at three different aims of encouragement.

1. In the home
2. Among peers
3. To leaders

For most of us with kids, we realize that reality is there will be moments kids argue, fight, and worst of all.. cross that imaginary line in the backseat of the car into each other's space. These methods will not be a bypass for any of that, but will create moments that can become life long investments and teachable times for your family.

There is also interaction with peers, these days this can be everything from fellow workers, students, teammates, and our online communities. Especially in the online world, giving gifts of encouragement can help kids with the temptation of cyber bullying and understand that social media can be used in a positive way.

As for our leaders, over and over in scripture we see leaders encouraging one another. As leaders would become discouraged or work grew heavy, the received letters or visits encouraging them to continue their good work for the Lord. Leadership in any form is hard, and having someone pray for you or even just speak words of encouragement can be priceless. 

How we speak to each other can determine the mood of our home, workplace or online communities.

• A younger sibling often beams with joy when an older sibling shows their approval. Encourage older siblings to vocalize something good that their younger brother or sister has done or is improving in. 

• As parents, we lose access to our kids for about 7 hours a day while they attend school. Little notes of encouragement in lunches, backpacks or on bathroom mirrors as they start their day are great. 

• Routine things like chores or homework, offering a kind word or even a helping hand can be encouraging. Often times we as parents are so happy it's simply done, that we fail to mention a job well done. Our kids need to hear these words. 

• Say thank you! Every morning my 17 year comes downstairs and I have made some form of breakfast. Even if we are late and its a banana and a granola bar, he says thank you for whatever it is. It simply tells me my efforts didn't go unnoticed. Encourage everyone in your home to say thank you for every little thing, and watch the family interaction change. 

• Encouragement in general is important; but spiritual encouragement is also needed. Praising your kids for noticing that they are in the word daily, or thanking them for praying at mealtimes will encourage them to keep going strong. 

• Thanking a leader for being faithful, this speaks volumes

 Hebrews 3:13 says "But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." Finding ways to lift each other up in all areas of life  is an investment that will pay off as your children enter adulthood.  The question is how? Here are some ways to become a family of encouragement:

Here is the challenge for February:

1. Pick a leader to pray for, and let them know they are being prayed for, let kids choose a teacher or leader as well.

2. Offer 1 messages of encouragement a day on social media. Most Americans are on social media for an average of 17 minutes a day. Why not use 1 or 2 minutes to post a verse of encouragement or kind word to a peer.

3. Draw a name! Much like the "secret santa" concept, exchange names in your home and pray for your person, offer kind words, most families find that kids have a very natural gift of encouragement. 

4. Challenge your kids to offer one statement of encouragement to their siblings… this is amazing in action.

Random acts of kindness can be so encouraging, and many of us are great at them when it comes to strangers. I can't help but wonder what homes and workplaces, and schools would look like if the same effort was extended to those we love on a regular basis. 

Blessings,

Heidi

Ready, Set, CPC!

What a week! Have you ever gone into an intense week of life with your exact plan mapped out, only to discover that it wasn't going to look anything like you planned?

As I started this week, I had intended to have some fun (since it was in fact a vacation) and get to share tons about CPC East! As we arrived at Disney, I became keenly aware of just how tired I was. My family had been running as hard (if not harder) than myself… and we needed a break! Thankfully, I took it! My husband and I ran all over Disney laughing and cutting up with our boys and we simply exhaled.

We did get to teach a couple breakouts, which was the intention, and do the Saturday morning coaching session. So, while I must apologize as a blogger for my lack of…..well, blogging, I can pass on to you a couple valuable lessons from CPC East! And hopefully you will be joining us at CPC West where you can cash them in! I will be there, with my team, and will be blogging. (seriously!)

At CPC East I caught myself needing to exhale, and simply be reminded that ministry is NEVER done. As a mom of a kid that will be a college student in the fall, I can tell you the time goes by quick!

Don't assume that I just skipped town and left tasks (ha!) I am thankful that by nature I am organized, my "work ahead" mentality allows me to set things down and rest from time to time. And this week as a leader, I was able to watch my family play, eat ridiculous things dipped in caramel and have moments of quiet to get closer to God and my family.

As I watched the fellow leaders at CPC, I wondered what state of mind they were in, sitting in the foyer many were on the phone and I was overhearing work talk from home. For some I spied them early in the morning out by the lake for what seemed to be their quiet time. (what can I say, I'm a people watcher)

My question to you leader, is what do you do to get conference ready? Do you come to CPC with a loaded mind that can't fit anything else in? Or do you go with your desk left clean at home and a brain ready to absorb? CPC is a place for many to relight a fire, to find fellowship among those that we share experiences in ministry with, and for some it can be a last hope in ministry as they seek God.

Here is what I am challenging us (including myself) to do before CPC West, ready?

1. Clean your desk - tie up all those loose ends, return those calls, all those little tedious tasks that consume our minds when we lay down at night. Just get them off your plate!

2. Get your programs covered - while ministry emergencies and issues do come up, make sure you are well staffed and your teachers have everything they need for any programming you may miss.

3. Make a wish list - Make a list of at least 10 things you expect to get out of CPC. Things like ministry questions answered, a contact who has expertise in a certain area etc.

4. Make an appointment with yourself - this is a great time as a leader to have a moment of quiet prayer and self assessment. For me, it has become my yearly self review.  It's also a way to find rest, a simple 30 minutes alone with yourself and God can make a huge difference.

5. Pray! - Go online and download the speaker list. Pray over those names and breakouts and sessions. Leaders like me appreciate it,,, I know I simply want to be used by God, and having people partner in prayer for that is awesome!

6. Leave a clean house - Well, not literally, but if you do literally…bonus points! Make sure your spouse and kids are good to go! When I come to CPC with my team, to work, I love to get a new movie and a special dinner for them. Happy homes :)

7. Schedule a coaching session - this year you will be allowed to schedule a coaching session at the end of the conference with the breakout presenters. This is an awesome opportunity! Take advantage of this free leadership training peice. 

8. Prepare to come, and have fun!! - bring your funny bone, and come ready to learn,
fellowship, worship and laugh as we grow stronger as spiritual leaders!

I hope to see you there!!

Greetings from CPC 2014

This week we are at the Children's Pastor's Conference in Orlando! I am looking forward to seeing some very familiar faces and getting to know some new ones! If you are in Children's or Family Ministries, it's not too late! Join us via live broadcast during the general sessions. Information is available at incm.org, or even better…join us in Ontario California next month.

Until then, I will be posting notes that I think are useful from some great speakers, as well as my own session notes. So keep an eye on the blog this week for some great material and fun moments in ministry. Maybe we can get Karl to rush the stage again!

Kids That Pray

This month the focus is prayer. If you haven't read last week's post "Families that Pray" I encourage you to do so. Last week's post was designed to use at home with families. This week we will discuss it from a leadership perspective.

Like most Children's Ministry Leaders, we all hope that every child goes home to a place that during the week they are ministered to. Families that invest in one another and parents that are highly involved in the spiritual development of our ministry kids. But when reality sets in, we realize they don't all have that atmosphere. In fact I have some kids (as I am sure every other leader does too) that show up alone on Sundays and walk blocks to return home. For some of these kids I question whether or not their physical necessities are being provided as they tell me there was no breakfast and we do what we can to meet their physical and spiritual needs as well. 

We all have these heart wrenching cases that arrive weekly, so what about these kids? Who is teaching them that church and a relationship with Jesus is more than Sunday? Who is encouraging them to be in the word and to pray? I once had a friend tell me "Teaching them the books of the Bible seems irrelevant when all they want is something to eat". I understand the statement, but I disagree, we don't have to choose between physical and spiritual investment. These kids need an extra touch, at least in my opinion. In this blog I will attempt to provide leaders with tips to create a strategic plan that assists kids with or without at home support to begin to "own" their faith, something I am very passionate about.

The first step is to not assume anything. As we all know, kids are not books we can judge by a cover.  They may or may not have spiritual support in the home regardless of their appearance or church involvement. In kids church we set the stage by announcing to kids, "If you need help with a reading plan or a praying plan, come talk to us". While them having a solid home foundation is our desire, at the end of the day, our relationship with Jesus is up to us individually.  So whether you have a child with a strong support system or a child with no system at all, these tips can be used, and most by the child alone. 

1. Jesus and Me. Do your kids realize that their relationship with Jesus is theirs? It's not contingent on their parents involvement. When kids understand this, they are more inclined to invest in their own relationship. The understanding that Jesus is THIER savior, and not simply a family friend that you creates a relationship they were born into can be an iconic moment for how kids respond to the gospel. 

2. Prayer is anytime. Challenge your kids church kids to call on Jesus on their own. A simple short "Jesus please help me do my best on this test" or "in this game" teaches them opportunities to call on Him. Creating a list of four or five situational prayers gets this into their DNA and habit and creates an active prayer life for kids. Here is the list I use, kids are encouraged add to it but it is a great simple starting point. 

• Jesus, please help me do my best on this test. 
• Jesus, help me to be a good friend and make right choices. (recess bell)
• Jesus, please keep our family safe as we start our week. (Monday prayer)
• Jesus, thank you for a day of school and friends. (when the dismissal bell rings)
• Jesus, please help me do my best today. (when the starting bell rings at school)

The mind works in amazing ways. Using triggers like school bells as prayer reminders will be something that stays with them for years. I know it has for me. This was something I was taught to do as a kid at Northside Christian Academy in the first grade, and to this day a school bell prompts me to whisper a prayer. Only now it's for my kids as they run onto campus.

For the child without at home support, we need to remember that nobody is really teaching them the elements of prayer other than what they get on Sunday. A simple paper that says ACTS, helps them learn. One of my favorite things is when kids return to church and show me their ACTS prayer paper. It is simply a piece of paper, folded into 4 (creating 4 boxes) placing A,C,T,S, in each box. They stand for adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication. For the kids I use: Adore, Confess, Thanks, Supply. They can write new things in each box as they pray during the week. A super simple template can be made with little explanations of each word for them to take. 

Prayer is communication, and as a kid for whatever reason I thought that I needed to be qualified to do the communicating. Public prayer was actually a long time fear for me because of this misconception, so creating ways for kids to understand that it is simply how we connect and communicate with our heavenly Father is very important to me. 

I would love to hear other approaches and ideas out there. 

Families that Pray

Praying Families. 

A few years ago I had the privilege to put together a family snow retreat. Our goal was really to get kids and parents away from every day life and create memories. Little did I know, a small activity with M&M candies would become one of my most favored ministry moments. It was a simple way to pray, families simply grabbed the candies and each color represented something to pray for. After I had finished prayer with my own family, I looked up to scan the room, and I saw families praying. Kids were praying for mom and dad, moms for dads, and brothers for sisters! While the word beautiful just doesn't say it all, it was, just so beautiful. Later that evening, I asked what one of the kids thought, and she said it was the first time she had every prayed with her parents. She continued that she didn't feel she knew how. Another parent said they had also never prayed as a family, they just didn't know where to start. 

In our constant motion of life, do we sit down at the table and bed-sides and just pray? For our kids? Many of our families (including ours) learned on that trip that while the kids often witnessed the parents praying, they really were more spectators than participants. As kids grow they get that lovely "embarrassment" hormone. Suddenly they are intimidated by something they would happily volunteer for at age 3. It is in the preteen ages that kids become a little more reserved about praying as a family. So I began to question, how do we keep that three year old? 

Here are some ways to teach kids how to pray. I challenge you to try at least two. I have also included the M&M's Prayer guide. Make sure that kids know that prayer is a time with God. Things like laughing at one another for "mess-ups" or making fun should not be allowed. Creating a supportive, positive atmosphere will help kids grow strong in their prayer life. 

Lastly, teaching our kids that they can pray anywhere at anytime is so important. A whispered prayer before a test or recital will teach kids that they can place their fears and joys in Jesus' hands for themselves. 

1) M&M's Prayer, each family member takes a few (you can decide the number) candies. As a family, one parent starts and as you pray for that color of M&M the next person goes until all M&M's are done. 

• yellow - a friend
• blue - a sibling
• green - spouse (or future spouse)
• brown - teacher
• orange - parent
• red - church leader

2) Sentence Prayer. For small children try starting the sentences and letting them finish:

• "Lord, I thank you for …"
• "Lord, forgive me for …"
• "Lord, help my friend …"
• "Lord, help me be more …"
• "Lord, help me to let go of …"
• "Lord, give me the courage to …"

3) Ups and Downs. Ask your children what their "Ups" were from the day, and then ask them about their "downs" from the day. Share yours as well, and then pray for them together.

4) Prayer Journal. Share your prayer requests with the other members of your family and then record them in a prayer journal. Pass the journal and pray over each others requests. The next time you pray together, look over the requests you listed previously and update any changes and answers. This is a good way to see how God has been active in your prayer lives.

5) A.C.T.S. Prayer. This is a well-known form of prayer that is easy to remember:

• A stands for “adoration.” Begin the prayer by simply adoring God for who He is.
• C stands for “confession.” Spend some time confessing your sins.
• T stands for “thanksgiving.” Take time to thank God for the blessings that He has given to you and your family.
• S stands for “supplication.” Lift up specific areas of your life in which you need God to supply for your needs.

6 steps to a smooth new year

As we round out 2013, yes we only have 2 months of it left, it's time to put your planning hat on! Whether you have a team of staff, or it's just you, there are a few steps that can make your new year a little easier. Here are a few tips that can get you pointed in the right "organized" direction. As an example I will use the Harvest Carnival.

1. Calendar your year - while I'm sure this is done for most already, it's key to get the dates on a visible calendar. This gives you an idea of how much you're doing and allows for a bird's eye view of potential conflict and flow.  Ex. Harvest Carnival, October 31st. - connects to the invite for Christmas events.

2. List the elements - Once you have everything on your calendar, a list can be made of elements needed to complete those tasks. My list often includes things like: publicity; design; recruitment; room reservations; training and appreciation. This will of course be based on what the task is.
Ex. design publicity, recruit volunteers...

3. Work backwards - all of the elements can now be added to your calendar as you start at the event and work backwards. Ex. design publicity - August 1st (this now becomes my deadline)

4. Go mobile - There is nothing worse than a well planned year that disappears! All of this info is done and plugged into my electronic calendar for 3 reasons. 1. If my paper calendar is lost; I have a backup (yes.. I love and still use my paper calendar) 2. I can set reminders; A cell phone buzz to keep you on task just works! 3. I can share it - my administrative assistant can see as well as other leaders I share with.

5. Dream a little - It is once all of this is done that I can see what needs updating; to be eliminated; or where we have room to do other things. Tasks 1-4 are usually done for the next year by November 1st; this allows me a couple months to set new goals, make ministry changes (or prepare to) that I have been praying about; as well as cast vision.

6. Claim your gold Stewardship star - as we all know, things are cheaper in the off season. If I know that I will need 400 paper visors for a July event in January, I can buy them on the end of season "summer clearance" sales rather than top dollar with overnight shipping in June. We have seen ministry dollars stretch as a result of this. The key is to keep organized and label things.

 I encourage you to plan well and as far in advance as you can. We all know that God changes plans from time to time, so maintaining the flexibility to accept that while being a good steward of the time, budget and talent you have been entrusted with is the key. I hope you plan a fierce new year, and hold it very loosely. Sometimes we as leaders like to maintain a death-grip on our work, forgetting that our savior can make it more spectacular than we ever could or imagined if we will just hand it to Him.

Christmas for Families

Family ministry, children's ministry, Christmas!! How do they work together? As a Children and Family leader I have been trying to figure out the right mix for years. I have come to the conclusion that there is no ONE right mix. It takes knowing the culture of your families and the design of your church, blend that with what the economy is doing and sprinkle with a little hectic scheduling and you may find the formula.

I have personally come to learn that families (at least ours) want 3 things for Christmas.

1. To make memories with their kids

• They don't want everyone separated out, if they all have to be there, they want to be together
• Memories that can allow parents a moment to disciple their kids and teach them Christmas

2. They don't want another thing to go to

• In the busiest time of year, there are already to few days to make it all happen. So while I love the idea of a potluck and ornament making day, my families just don't have room.

3. They want relevant ways to make Christmas about Jesus for their kids 

• Parents are our best teachers. Let's equip them to do the job right!

So after processing the above ideas I decided to step back a little. We kept our Parents Night Out, a night that parents can shop without the kids and the kids have a great time with us. This happens by tradition on the first Friday each December. 

After that, parents are encouraged to use the advent guide to celebrate at home with their families. This alone is an awesome way to celebrate Christmas all month. But in addition to that, in the midst of shopping and decorating, life application opportunities arise. Parents are awesome at leading their kids in this way, sometimes they just need an idea. 

For the month of December we simply focus each week on a different thing that shares the true Christmas spirit. There are no sign ups, no meetings, and no time commitments. The entire family can participate and parents lead.

Week 1 we focused on compassion. While the stable and manger weren't optimal (or at least we see it that way) they were a gift, a man giving what he had out of compassion. Families were simply encouraged to pack up extra blankets and coats as the winter weather set in and hand them out as they were in town and see the need. (We are in California, so cold weather sets in early December) My kids still love to do this at the age of 11 and 17. 

Week 2 I am calling "random", showing love to complete strangers is something we are called to do. But we are also called to love our neighbors. Our children see us come and go every day, and in most neighborhoods we don't even know who we live around. We are encouraging families to do a random act of kindness in their neighborhood. Bake a treat, take candy canes, or even hand out Christmas cards.  Personally, we sock our neighbors. It's a stocking that gets filled with treats and we try to get it passed to as many homes as possible before Christmas. 

Rob Morgan Notes at D62013

Rob Morgan is the senior pastor of The Donelson Fellowship in Nashville, TN. 

Luke 15

Five steps in the grace cycle. 

Instead of being in a cycle of grief, live in a cycle of grace

The appropriate response for any christian when another person makes a change for Christ in their life is joy!

1. Pain

• In the Gospels, Jesus always intervened on behalf of distressed parents

2. Prayer

• The prayers of a righteous [parent] is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)

3. Patience

• time is on our side 

4. Peace

• Prodigals have a way of coming home

5. Praise

• Give God the praise 

Three Gifts Everyone Needs - Dave Stone

Three Gifts Everyone Needs
notes from Dave Stone's session at D62013

Kids can bring out the wort in parents and leaders, we have to remember that we have been entrusted with them.

Children are like arrows. They need to be sharpened, straightened, aimed and released.


Three gifts everyone (every child) needs

1. The gift of value

• we live in a world that "looks out for number one"
• what do we value in terms of our ministry priorities; our priorities state our values
• calling people by name; small gestures that say "I value you"

when people see that they are of value in your life; you can then speak into their life

Do you sleep in your home? Or do you live in your neighborhood?

2. The gift of extended grace

• People are messy; when you get involved in the life of others you will have to extend grace
• As Jesus extends grace to us; we must extend grace to others
• We show grace, because we need grace. For this reason we must be on the lookout for people needing this. 
• For some people it's easier to believe that Jesus rose from the dead, than it is to believe that He can forgive our sin
• Sometimes we need to extend grace to ourselves

3. The gift of Love

• Show love to one another 
• Activity for Christ does not equal intimacy with Christ
• If the Holy Spirit pulled out of your life, would you even know He was gone

Satan knows your name but he calls you by your sin; Jesus knows your sin but calls you by your name.

Your heavenly father wants to value you, extend grace to you, and show you love. For some of us we are so wrapped up in what we do, we are missing it.

Notes for Todd Wagner @ D62013

Three institutions that God values...

• Family - God's gift to pass on the means to which we can go on

• Marriage - the building block of society

• Government - is a divine institution that is designed to punish evil and preserve justice

The bond which forms the family is marriage

Marriage is a big deal because God loves people
Marriage is to mirror God's character

equality, unity, diversity all must be present to properly define the trinity.

The perfect example of the structure of the trinity is displayed in God's design of marriage

4 ways to improve marriages in your church

1. You have got to be authentic

• look at your own marriage
• if every marriage in your church looked like yours, what would your church look like?
• How are you doing at setting the example, are you able to say "imitate me"?

2. Be committed

• The purpose of marriage is that there would be unity
• The purpose of marriage is not that you would be un-divorced; there's more
• When you define love with anything less than the cross, it loses it's power

3. Be connected

• be connected to others that love you
• Have accountability

4. Be aware

• Know that there is an enemy - Ephesians 5:22
• Be strong in the grace of the Lord
• Marriage takes place on a spiritual battlefield; not a romantic balcony

Notes for Dr. James Dobson @ D6 2013

Building your family legacy.
What are you going to leave to your family.

His great grandfather dedicated an hour a day to praying for the future generations of his family.

The Lord wil allow you to disobey if you want to, but the consequences are yours.

In the personal testimony of Dr. Dobson, he shared that everything opened up all at once in terms of success.

"It is a dangerous thing for a young man to become too successful too fast"

In the midst of this he explained that his father was a moral compass in his life. His father wrote him a letter that brought light to how much of his focus was being drawn away from his family.

"While we are busy, the world is at war with your children & families for their hearts and minds."


As parents, if we do not reach our children for Christ, you'll never see them again.

To his son, Dr. Dobson said (summarized of course)
"I care about what you accomplish in life, I care about you using your talents for God. But more than anything I want you to be there, be there on that resurrection morning so I can spend eternity with you."

The legacy talk we heard from Dr. James Dobson was primarily a personal testimony. Hearing the history of his family and their faith legacy was awesome and calls for some self reflective questions like:

1. What are you leaving your family?
2. Who is praying for the current and future generations of your family?
3. Have you told (taught) your kids what is most important?
4. How can we as ministry leaders equip our families to have these conversations?

Notes for Tim Kimmel @D6 2013

There's a vast difference between people who do great things and people who live great lives

1. God love is best nurtured through spiritually thriving families

• Genesis 1-2 

• When God wanted to design the pinnacle part of his creation; He made a family. Not a committee of program

• Family = the domestic church

• Church = a gathering of domestic churches

• The most effective way to disciple anyone is to have them raised in a Godly home with Godly parents

• Parents begin to subcontract their parenting to the church which results in fear based parenting

• God didn't call us to raise safe spiritual kids. He called us to raise strong spiritual kids.

2. God's love is best illustrated through churches and homes that reflect God's heart. 

• Churches and homes who 

• Gods grace is supposed to be the spiritual climate system in our homes and churches

• If you're strong on truth and light on grace; you're light on truth

“I can’t stand your religious meetings. I’m fed up with your conferences and conventions. 
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
    your pretentious slogans and goals.I’m sick of your fund-raising schemes,
    your public relations and image making.I’ve had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
    When was the last time you sang to me?Do you know what I want?
    I want justice—oceans of it.I want fairness—rivers of it.
    That’s what I want. That’s all I want."  -Amos 5:21-24 (the Message)

• Without grace you erode the impact of the truth.

• Biblical orthodoxy is about what we know. Grace is how we come across. Grace should describe what we are

3. God's love is best transferred through churches and families that are guided by God's truth and are tempered by his grace

• Discipline and correction should be a form of Grace if done the way Christ models it in our lives
 

4. The gospel is best leveraged when churches and families operate in partnership.

• One without the other can be like assembling a puzzle with a missing box and missing pieces.

• The church should be telling parents "You can do it, we can help"