Beautiful Scars - Revisited

This week I have been preparing a training talk for a group of leaders.  I always begin speaking to adults with the same intro, "My name is Heidi Hensley and I am a children's ministry leader, there are three things you should know before we begin. 1. I will over explain words and details (kids love details) 2. I may ask you to race to our passages of scripture 3. If you participate well, I may throw candy." Of course this always is quite entertaining to say, but they roar in laughter when I actually do toss the first snickers bar. I love what I do, I (we) are called to shape and mold future generations, presidents, teachers, pastors and parents......spiritually. Our "job" in children's ministry is to bring Jesus into a child's world. I take what I do very seriously and am daily humbled that Jesus sees me as an individual capable of introducing children to Him.

I had originally planned on talking about how we as leaders have these canvases to work with. Often children are hearing the gospel for the first time, and so many see kids as a blank canvas who just needs Jesus' colors. I once had a Sr. pastor friend tell me "you're job is easier, the world hasn't gotten them yet", which in some ways affirmed the fresh canvas theory. Don't you love those moments that you have an absolute outline in your head of what you will be saying, and it translates completely different?

As I started working, I picked up a file to put it back in my drawer, out of it slid a report that I had to make to child protective services. I put it away and slowly realized that while my heart was heavy for that child, it wasn't shocked. This is sadly, something that we see more and more. As I went back to work, I just couldn't describe kids as a pretty canvas the world hasn't "gotten to" yet.  The kids we work with, they have scars, and if I am classifying them as unhurt, how will they ever know what to do with those scars.

Did you know, child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education? About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. The adults that my pastor friend was speaking of was missing one detail. The wounded adults that he was ministering too, well many of their wounds had happened as children.

Everything from divorce, molestation, lack of parent participation in life, physical abuse, bullying, learning disorders to speech impediments, they all leave marks on our canvas. Don't get me wrong, there are also beautiful marks of love on those canvases too! So what do we teach them? Typically we as Christians teach that Jesus paints that canvas white. He takes our sins and throws them as far as the east is from the west... I believe this, we are forgiven! So what about the remains of the sin, the scars? This is typically where the child begins to grow and gets frustrated as they approach adulthood that the residual effects or consequences of sin haven't just disappeared.

Jesus could have chosen to raise from the dead that third day and have returned un-scarred, but He didn't! His scars were visible, they were remains of hate and sin, and yet we see them as some of the most beautiful marks. Children need to know that their sins are forgiven, but they also need to be taught that the lasting effects on their life can be used to glorify God.

So with that idea, my canvas when I start my talk will be dirty and marked up with what the world has tossed at our kids instead of white. And I will hopefully be able to do a visual of Jesus letting those shine through to glorify Him as He forgives.

As a leader I challenge you to look away from those descriptions of the perfect child, from the perfect home, with the great grades, it's a different world. Take a look at your ministry kids this Sunday, maybe they need to hear that God is capable of using their scars for His purpose.

Improving Child Security - Guest Post from KidCheck

Our friends at KidCheck support our efforts in children's ministry in a great way. While their check in system is outstanding, there are multiple areas of security that need to be covered for Kids in any kind of ministry, care, or organization. I am happy to pass along to you a well done video about improving our child security. If you have not checked them out, you can do so at KidCheck.com

Sharing your ministry vision

 If you follow my blog, you will know that I am mostly a writer of everything children and family ministry, with a few pieces on general leadership. However, when it comes to vision casting I truly believe this blog is relevant in many forms.

Anyone in leadership of a business, family, ministry or organization will have to cast a vision at some point. Why is vision casting necessary? The answer to this question alone may very well guide you to the how. If you answer the "why" with something that sounds like this: "To build and equip the body of Christ to continue the work of spreading the gospel", then I think you will get some good tools here. If your answer is "Because pastor doesn't want kids in the service, and I may lose my mind", I have some tips for you too!

In children's ministry we are always needing to cast vision, in fact I don't think this process ever stops. We need parents, teachers, and fellow ministry workers to be able to see the goal with us, to make it happen.  As leaders, everything we want to see accomplished requires the buy in of others, this is what will give your vision feet over time.

So where do you start? Here are some basic tips to assist in casting your vision.

1. Find out your Sr. Pastor's vision for your ministry, and get behind it. While I am sure there will be variations based on your style, you are most likely to attain your goal with his support. And you have your first buy in! After all, it was his idea. (wink wink!)

2. Make sure your vision is not a task. (go ahead, read it again) Your vision should be an end result that can be backed by scripture, not a "to do list" that any person in or outside the church could do. Does the success of the vision produce a mobilized servant of Jesus?

3. Let them see it. For example; this summer we revamped some of the things we do with our summer campers. Our world is crazy and I felt God's leading to reassure kids that He is with them. Instead of telling the counselors that we needed more Bible study or delegating a task, I reminded them of the things that had taken place in our world and showed them how it affects children. The training became a conversation of how this affects us spiritually and how we can teach them to rely on God in all the different ways we interact. The vision I was seeing, was never spoken to them, the key was to share the need and they saw the vision for themselves.

4. Let them own it. Those counselors mentioned above, they are actually concluding the last week of our program as I write this blog. I have seen love, tears, new bonds, and passion this summer in ministry. They were able to take the ideas from that day and the tools we gave them to have a summer of us all working toward one mark. They were able to own a piece of this ministry, and leave their fingerprint. If your vision is always just your vision, you were unsuccessful.

5. Celebrate! When you have reached your goal, celebrate this team. Those core people who saw your heart and came alongside you as they shared this vision will most likely be people who will stand with you during many more experiences in ministry.

There are times in ministry I can honestly say that I thought I was on the right track, I thought I was pursuing a direction for all the right reasons. The willingness to step back and assess whether this is my vision or God's has been a lesson well learned. Having people in our lives to assist or be a voice of reason is something I believe God intended. Acts 2:17 talks about "the old men dreaming dreams, and the young seeing visions".  I think all ministry leaders should get with someone who has had a few years ahead of them and talk ministry, I can guarantee that you will be inspired!

Why object lessons are awesome

Object lessons and kids, they just go together. I will even venture to say that they work well with adults too. We could go into all the mathematical and scientific reasons why, but I would need you to be in the  room with a live object lesson to make that interesting.

There are many ways to illustrate a Bible lesson to kids, many churches use felt, or puppets or even skits. While these are common illustrations that can be effective, I have personally always favored the object lesson. Here are a few reasons they work, and how and when to use them.

Why does it work: (Jesus used object lessons, but here are a few reasons anyway)

1. Kids are natural bayesian logic thinkers. This means they have the natural ability to take past events and formulate a probable outcome. For some things in life, like math and basic decision making this is a good thing.  So if you put an object lesson in front of them, they're hooked. Most kids have minds that start working over time to reason out what you are doing in front of them, and they are captured until the end of the lesson.

2. It's interactive, whether or not you call on a volunteer, most object lessons require asking questions. Personally, having a child up holding something and a couple peers actually performing the lesson with my guidance is my preference. My friend Roger Fields often says the words "can I get a volunteer" are golden in children's ministry, and I totally agree. Kids learn when they can get their hands on it.

3. It can be inexpensive. I will be honest, the first church I led children's ministry at didn't have a kidmin budget. I wrote my own lessons and had the option of a color page that could line the floor board of the car, or an object lesson. So throughout the week I thought of different ways I could illustrate the lesson using things in my house. Everything from teaching the trinity with steam, ice, and water to a lamp and an egg to illustrate faith.  It can be a very inexpensive, effective, and sometimes edible tool!

How to make sure your object lessons don't stink.
1. Practice! Don't lie there in bed on Saturday night and think through your object lesson and assume it will work. Let's face it, you're asking for disaster! Practice your object lesson a couple times, even use it on your own kids to see if it connects.

2. Prepare! There is nothing worse than showing up on Sunday with the assumption that there is oil in the church kitchen for your lesson and learning that it's gone. Make sure you have all your pieces and they are measured to your needs. This also speaks to the excitement, when kids enter the room, have it ready and they will be excited to see what is coming.

3. Use verses, make sure you start and end with the Biblical tie in. An awesome object lesson can become just a cool piece of entertainment if you don't connect it. My favorite thing to do is use them to connect Biblical principals to life application. Otherwise, kids go home and the "what did you learn" conversation becomes "I learned how to boil water" instead of "I learned all about the trinity...".

Object lessons are great, there are several sites that offer ideas including Pinterest (which is a kidmin must). Be prepared and know that it may change as you go, maybe even plan a couple alternate endings. Use new people in your ministry too, this is a great time to get those volunteers who are being mentored a chance to get comfortable in front of the kids in a more comfortable setting. Even send an outline home with the parents! Object lessons are a great tool in the home to get families talking.

Want to go to D6 Conference? FREE?

Yes! You read that correctly! 

I will be giving away two tickets to D6 2013 Conference in Louisville. 

(conference tickets only)

As many of you know, I am a huge advocate of equipping leaders. Last year (and this year) I will be serving as part of the social media team at D6, this is an outstanding conference that has something for everyone in ministry. The prime focus is families, but there are tools for women's ministry, men's ministry, kid's ministry and more. One of the best methods of training I have ever received (and continue to receive) is the learning experiences others. So for a fun way to give these tickets away, I am asking that you tell me the best piece of kid's ministry or family ministry advice in no more than 25 words that you didn't learn in seminary.

It can be fun, logistical, spiritual, etc. These will be used for a ministry project later, so be creative!

D6 is in Louisville, October 16th - 18th
For more information on the content and amazing speaker line up click here.

To enter to win, add a comment on this blog post of your 25 words or less. I will pull a random winner on the 4th of July....just to keep with the "FREE" theme! The winner will be announced at 10:00 AM PST both on the blog and twitter!

I can't wait to see your input!



 

Are we giving kids enough?

I recently found myself having a conversation about the Columbine Massacre, a situation that still terrifies every parent to this day. After a radio host had mentioned the Sandy Hook School shooting, my son asked a few questions and made the comment similar to this, "That stuff wasn't really bad when you were a kid, huh mom?". Of course your first instinct is to protect your child and try to explain things softer than they actually are, but I felt a need to take a breath and have a conversation about it.

I mentioned the school shooting that actually took place in the city where we live, and I grew up in 1989.  The gunman fired 106 rounds in three minutes killing five children and wounding thirty others including one teacher. While this man had a history with Cleveland school, his acts were based on hatred and racism.  I then mentioned Columbine, which both of my kids have vaguely heard of. There have been many books that have come from this tragedy that have made amazing changes in our schools regarding bullying. 

Somehow our conversation turned towards the kids who were killed, and I mentioned one of the girls that had confirmed her belief in Jesus just before she was killed.  I know that two of the girls were very strong in their faith, but specifically Cassie Bernall who had said "yes" when the gunman asked her "do you still believe in your God?" just before he killed her. 
Honestly, this was a very hard conversation to have but I am thankful for where it lead as we talked about standing for our faith, and knowing what you believe. Our conversation ended as we arrived home and our day went on.

I have returned to that conversation many times in my mind. Part of me would love to ask the parents of Cassie Bernall and Rachel Scott what they did in their home to grow these two faith bound girls that stood firm that day. Maybe their pastor or youth pastor would have things to tell. 

As a leader of Children's Ministry I often worry so much about making things fun, decorations, and details, that while important, may not have eternal value. This has caused me to ask myself this question: Am I equipping kids to have a solid enough relationship with Christ that they can (and will) stand for their faith if challenged to do so? 

God's word tells us that some of us will be challenged for our faith, some even until death. While that is a massive lump in the throat to swallow, especially when we think of our kids, it is one that I think is important.  

As we watch the world we live in look more like the prophecies we read, how are we equipping the next generation to carry on the faith? And stand for it at all costs should that be asked of them?

As I run and play Bible memory games with these kids, and maybe run them through a slime machine this summer I personally plan on using teaching moments to give them tools to continue to build a solid relationship with Jesus as well as giving parents at home tools to continue that growth. 

Book Review: Limited Church: Unlimited Kingdom

Limited Church: Unlimited Kingdom 

 Uniting church and family in the great commission

 by Rob Rienow. 

As I sat down, tea in hand, I was prepared to read and absorb, or so I thought. I will honestly say after reading, once isn't enough. I plan to do it again! The amount of information in this book is amazing. In review, the design of this book is well done. It puts a significant amount of thought provoking information in a bite sized section, and then pauses for reflective questions. I appreciate this, so many times an author will twist and turn through a verbal journey and when you arrive, there is no sense of how you got there. The book flows nicely and builds on itself from one section to the next, while constantly referring to scripture.

Content!  Rienow begins with what most would consider to be obvious information, the Bible is sufficient. Then moves to challenge with the reflective question "To what degree does your church use the Bible as a sufficient guide for making ministry and programming decisions? How often is the Bible referred to when making ministry strategy decisions?" Not only does the beginning of the book speak to general ministry, I personally believe every young adults pastor needs a copy on hand. 

Rienow suggests that the biblical doctrine of jurisdiction has been largely lost in today's church.  Dr. Rienow consistently reminds us that God has given us the information in the Bible to carry out His mission, everything from what He wants done, how He wants it done, and who He wants to do it. Reinow does well to lay out the four foundational realms of authority, areas of jurisdiction in society. They are; the individual, the family, the local church, and the government.  He focuses on the local church and the family while covering each area based upon the sufficiency of Scripture and repeating the framework God has given each one according to His Word. Those committed to loving God and others advances God’s mission through a godly marriage, godly children, a godly local church.  

Limited Church: Unlimited Kingdom is definitely a tool to be used by family ministry leaders, children's ministry leaders, and young adult leaders as well. The first read through is great, but I plan on digesting it with my team in a section by section format. 

Spiritual Gifts of Children

I once had someone tell me that "kids need to have Jesus in their atmosphere so that when they grow up they can choose to follow Him,  but they weren't really capable of relationship or serving at a young age".  My heart sank when I heard this, and quite honestly, if you have ever served in your church's nursery you know that statement is incorrect.

I have watched for years as children not only absorb information, they display solid faith and exude pure worship. It's no coincidence that Jesus tells us that we need that "child-like faith" to receive Him. (Matthew 18:2-4)

I have also for years watched children display their spiritual gifts. Look closely this Sunday, children as young as two years old will show compassion, leadership, and mercy. As parents we can easily identify them in our children, and often times as ministry leaders we can see them as well.

So what are we doing with this vital information? Do you ever dream and wonder, what are my kids capable of? Am I challenging them spiritually? We as leaders offer up "challenges" of memory verses and other information, but do we really challenge them in their spiritual capability? Are we sharpening their "spiritual gift sword" for use in the kingdom?

As I have been personally reflecting on this question I realized in 2 Chronicles 24:1it is mentioned that Joash was SIX YEARS OLD when he became king! Six! First Grade! I think you get it, he continued his reign for 40 years. What this exactly looked like, well I can't even begin to fathom, but I can tell you that he was a leader. He had older generations around him not only training him up, but entrusting him to lead on his own.  This is where I stopped, while we are embracing family ministry as a culture and investing in our younger generations, I had to ask "are we entrusting them?"

As I sat there looking at the take home pages of family devotions, the memory verse cards, and the curriculum, I came to the realization that we are pouring in (and rightfully so) but are we teaching them what to do with all that input? Are we teaching them that the holy spirit will guide, and stepping back and letting that happen?

So with that in mind, we decided to start with spiritual gifts! In kids church we did a three week series on identifying, using, and sharing spiritual gifts. But it won't just be a lesson! Kids will be given the option to assume ministry tasks based on their spiritual gifts. The desire is to show them hands on that they can have a relationship with Jesus that is full (like adults). To show them that they have something to give, and God has designed them with a purpose.  Giving and serving is a huge part of our spiritual life, and we would be off balance without those elements.

I am an advocate of good material, and quite honestly I found a free online printable curriculum for this series.  I landed on the page with a search and while the page isn't all bright and hi-tech, the content is wonderful! The best part is the fact that all the supplies called for, you probably already have. There were a few changes like milk cartons used for a game, I used cups and cotton balls.

While we may not have a six year old leading our nation any time soon, which may be a better option (well that's another blog post in itself) we can let them lead in places that will equip them to carry the gospel to future generations we will never see. The best part is letting the parents get involved by teaching them what we see in their kids and letting that be nurtured in the home as well.